So apparently, I suck at keeping up with a blog. I have yet to post anything that I wanted to (Cruise vacation and The Happiness Project Book)...maybe before the year is over? Ugh.
I've been sick the past 2 days with the flu or a terrible cold. And being miserable physically also makes me feel sick mentally - I can't help but question whether how I live my days is how I want to live my life. I've been struggling with this "quarter life crisis" feeling for probably 2 years now. I think it started when I finished my CPA. After completing the 4 part exam, I asked myself "OK, what's next?" I suppose I am too used to completing things by stages: from finishing each semester by semesters, to completing internships every summer, to completing exams (i.e. CPA). Reflecting on my 3rd year out of college and how I am progressing in my career, I find myself often wondering if this is it? Is this my destiny? Am I going to be doing this every day for the rest of my life? Can I do this? Where am I going? Am I satisfied if this is what I will be doing for the next 5, 10, 15 years? I really want the answer to be yes, but I am sad to admit, it is most likely no. I don't feel it. This is not me and not how I want to live.
I am trying to find my passion, something I love doing and hopefully would be able to turn into a career. Let's be serious. I need a paycheck. And a good one too given NYC living costs and my obligations in all directions, and my spending habits. I'm just afraid I'll never find it.
I am proud to say I will be attending a workshop in a few weeks, weekend of Nov 5 that a friend of a friend is hosting. I hope to get something out of it. For some reason, I am waiting on the day that it's going to hit me, like BAM, and that I'd figure it all out. But.....that doesn't seem promising. So I guess I will have to keep exploring and knocking on doors until I find it. I took a real estate salesperson course last year only to realize it's not really meant for me. Although I love and enjoy real estate, SELLING real estate is not my thing. I can't sell anything. I'm more of a buyer...you can probably convince me to buy anything. Anyway, I'm looking to sign up for a photography class to see if that sparks anything within me. Maybe I can be a photographer and make half a million dollars a year? Ha...wishful thinking :)
